Left Behind

In that moment you have gone.
Seems You left me here alone,
To find my path without your light.
Forever left to roam the night.

All the thoughts and dreams will fade
as the days they all turn grey.
How do I move forward now
when all that’s left if fear and doubt

As I fight for control
of the demons in my soul.
I will spread my wings and fly
and search for others in the night.

You took me up to heaven’s gate
and getting there we parted ways.
I know tomorrow I will wake
with nothing left for me to take.

With this hole inside my soul
I was wrong to think it cold.
So I fill it up with love
and understanding from above.

Hold my hand I’ll lead the way
down this path you are afraid.
I will keep you safe along your way
so you can shine when darkness fades.

Fill the emptiness in time,
memories left of you and I.
Showing others how to live
is all that I have left to give.

~J

Thank You for Dancing

Thank you for Dancing.




A cool breeze takes the leaf from the tree

and starts it on its ending path.

It does not know where it will end up

or how far it will get.

It just hurries along with the breeze.

Without fear or regret

it dances its final dance.

In the brief time it catches my eye

bringing peace to my thoughts

and allowing me to enjoy this beautiful day.

No matter how many plans you make

or what steps you take.

As the end draws in you are but a leaf on the wind.

So dance and live and know

that you are someone’s peaceful moment.

Thank You.

Far Away So Close

I stumble over words

as I try to write for you

I find the message foggy

but hold tight to the truth.

Far away so close you stay

but still the words they hide

to write the truth or bare the soul

fear stands by my side

To tell you that I see you

in my dreams and thoughts

Wish to hear you voice

through the music of the heart

Listen to the winds

That brings you by my side

and stare upon the stars

that glisten in your eyes.

Far away so close you stay

Close your eyes and see.

No matter where you wander

Inside I'll always be.

~J

You

Far away so close

Feel your heart and know

in Your soul I am

as you are with me.

Pain I fill with Love

Not empty but alive

Hold you in my heart

someday you shall see.

Let me take home

the dirt and wind and sea

and hear the answers come

from all the things that be.

Share with me your soul

Dream of me at night

when the Moon does sing

Dance with all your might.

j.s. 12/2013

Step out

As I watch the darkness slowly burn away.

Into the fire I step to claim another day.

Even though the thorns of roses break my skin

The blood and pain supports the beauty from within

I seek to know just why true love is so strong

but crumbles under doubt when everything goes wrong.

I cannot see the future I only know the past,

but from it I will build the monuments that last.

hold you way up high to feel the warmth and light.

know that when you can't see I will be your sight.

So walk on through this darkness until it burns away.

Then step out in to the beauty of another day.

~J

Return

We stand in our pride and self proclaimed integrity

a world built by us to suit us.

Never questioning where we came from or where we are going.

Fighting to be separate from the whole

but needing the whole to approve and praise

answering questions with speculations and fabricated truths

dividing, splitting, and battling

which way do you fall after the schism

pushing belief so hard on others

hoping we too will believe one day

in the end we return from where we came

back to the very thing we tried to split from

What do we pass on

 What are we passing on? Have you thought about it? What have you passed on to your children, your family, and friends? Have you passed your impulsive desire for new technology to your children? Have you taught them how to complain or maybe just teach them to live in their world and try to ignore the crazy stuff that goes on around them? Maybe drugs, have you taught them how a busy day or week deserves some drugs or a few drinks to relax? Looking forward to lunch and dinner as a break? Eating for relaxation or reward?

 Teaching them how to be racist, sexist, or judgmental is a popular thing as well. Pointing out short comings of others to make us feel better is something everyone needs to learn. Be sure to teach them how to complain about something but do nothing to change it because it is not your fault or problem.

 These seem to be popular things that people are learning and doing today but the real fear is what will it evolve to? Blaming others and doing nothing has already started evolving right before our eyes. We have given up so many freedoms to our government in hopes that they will take care of us, something we should have been doing all along. But that is another story/ argument in itself.

 I started thinking about my kids this morning and wondering, if there was just one thing I could get across to them what would it be? If I teach them nothing but this one thing what would it be? To love unconditionally, to live each day as it was their last, to look both ways before crossing the street, Or don’t step on legos. I cannot find an answer. Not really, because there is so much they need to know. So many things not taught in schools. Let’s face it, Schools basically teach crap. Half the stuff we are sticking in their brains does will not help them in life and yet we keep shoveling it in. Let’s teach them how to learn, to communicate, so think. Yes THINK we are not teaching them to think anymore.

 Sorry I seem to have gotten off track again, the one thing…. What would it be?
I think it would be to just live. Nothing lasts forever, not love, money, looks, cars, pets, or anything. Nothing lasts forever. So just live, enjoy them, immerse yourself in the moment and feel the emotions, then move on; live like the waves of the ocean. If someone or something strikes a blow at you, just move, then fill in the spaces, but never, never stop pushing forward.



J.

Release

My Soul is torn between good and evil

Which is which I cannot say

I fight the demons and fight the angels

the battle grows larger each day

A crowded soul

A lonely heat

A painful life

Being torn apart

Release me.



(Written 1994)
Jason Sandlin

The Other Side

Looking up I see
 so much ahead of me
Spiraling though the dark
 Taking me back to start

One step
forward I
focus on the sky
one step
before I
am taken by this

I came here to
see the darker you
meet the Shadow I
bury deep inside

One step
Forward I
close to my desire
one step
before I
consumed by this

Out the other side
I have nothing left to hide
so different than before
understanding anima

Gone

Written thoughts,
 Pieces of the heart
scraps of a moment
penned in emotion

never ending search
for that which is lost
never to be found
because it was never mine

ever seeking truth
discovering all the lies
who is to guide true
without judgmental eyes

One line remains unwritten
one verse never song
This side of  heaven I keep searching
for where it is I've gone.

Freedom Inside

Drifting ever so softly through the night

Across the sky I fly earthbound but free

What has past is no longer binding

what is to be no longer concerns me

No physical boundaries around me

I write my words in the night sky

I sing with the spirits and dance with the sun.

seeing with the unseen eye.

Truth has no meaning in a place with no lies

and we dance with the vibrations of night

Vivid  with the color of hearts and Gold

Filling up this terrestrial life.

Fibonacci counts as we push ever forward

and we dance on this spiral divine

Going to places we’ve never been

All without opening our eyes.

Washed Over

*This is something that came to me after I woke. I know it doesn't realy eqaul a poem but it was in my head.


Spiral further down the vibrant colors seem to light my path
I step softly as I see this world changes below my feet
And I stand here bathed in this beauty that encompasses all
I’m not sure I can take all this in to my soul.


Guided by this glowing force I see this world for what it is
I understand now that we are only a temporary thing.
I can see that the blood is wine and the bread is flesh
I can see that we are to consumed by something greater
No room for ego or self
No time for each
All are one and one is everything.



As I slip away, desperately grasping for a hold
I hear the voice of beauty telling me how to continue
No one understands that life is nothing more or less than that
We are bathed in all there is
We are the music of the universe
The heavens and earth
We need but only dance


J.

Tonight

Tonight, the moon and stars comfort me and I listen to the peace in the air.

Tonight I relax as my family sleep quietly in the comfy beds.

Tonight I reflect on what has happened today and how slow and relaxed it was.

Tonight I plan my day tomorrow as I slip into my slumber.

Tonight, I forgot to hold my family tight

Because,

Tonight someone has stood up for what they believed in and lost

Tonight, someone has marched against oppression and lost.

Tonight, they bleed in the streets, cry for their fallen and plan for tomorrow.

Tonight they are not worried about facebook, google, or the net.

Tonight they wonder who will be alive tomorrow.

Tonight is all they have.


J.

Breaking the Silence

One, beautiful thought that’s

Encompassing all with

Growing desire to

Fill in the void for the answer of all



Stare, blankly at nothing

Hoping for change and

Wanting to fill the

Emptiness left in my eyes



Give, all that I know

Putting it out there

Hoping for love

Wishing you’d understand why I am me



Slip, back into silence

Desperately hoping that

What I have done would

Stimulate that which drives you along.

Frustrated

I truly fear for a world so glued to an electronic box for entertainment. We even try to constantly improve this box full of filtered and bias opinions, fake reality, and fantasies that help us grow further away from true love, true adventure, and everything outside the walls that “protect” us. We sit, locked in our private caves. Bitching about the loss of our freedoms and yet we very seldom exercise those exact freedoms we fight for.

It is constantly teaching us to except ourselves for what we are and tune in later to learn how to better ourselves. But let’s face it; it is just a slow poison chipping away at our health and souls. We should be out bettering ourselves and not using up the “I’m tired” or “it’s been a long day” excuses. You can sit around and wait for things to get better and they never will. They don’t, not if you’re sitting around, you just unknowingly lower your standard, your level of tolerance and acceptable pains.

We also have become a community of blamers. It is always someone else’s fault that things in your life have turned out bad. This friends is a load of crap. You are standing right where you put yourself. I don’t care what some guy or girl did to you. How you accepted it and moved on is and was your decision. But when it turns out to be a bad decision we blame the person that gave us the reason for the decision and not the decision maker. Accept it was bad and move on.

All of this rant comes from and attempted discussion the other night about something on the news. As I tried to discuss it, I was told to shut up because it was horrible what happened and we didn’t need to talk about it. I sat, shocked, we don’t need to talk about it? I think the stick your head in the sand approach is appalling. If you cannot discuss such things and do not speak about the bad things then what are we to expect when we become face to face with it? How do we protect ourselves from it? Hiding from the things that scare us does nothing but make us more frightened and powerless.

I sometimes feel I am the only one seeing all of this. Can I change it? I don’t know? Can I try? You’re damn right I can

My Freedom

I trust those who offer me sight and yet they blind me so

Down their path I go, searching for my life in their shadow.

Sacrificing each step to the illusion of forward movement

but only standing in the stagnant Dogma of good intent.

Bleeding out freedom, embalmed with hope and wishes.

Tied to a fear of Death itself and the hollowness it leaves.

I don't wish to travel this path but they offer safety.

Safety from the evils they themselves have created.

I strip away the myth, the lies, and the fantasy

I strip away the hope, the wishes and safety.

I stand, Naked, exposed, fearless and focused.

I stand at the start of my path, my choice, my freedom.

Between the Thoughts

Feeling the open in me

Feeling the shadows move

wanting the inside out

I tear open the wounds

dancing to the rhythm of

that which always moves

I'm dancing with the power

and deepening the wounds

I lose myself between the thoughts

of what is and is not there

I slide across the words of others

as feel how much they care

In this place I see tomorrow

and feel the warmth of it all

I know what is unknown

and hear the mothers call

I take in all that is mine to take

and leave the rest for other days

I bring out comforts that I need

and slip quietly away,

Deep inside

Deep inside spiraling down

past the Ego and self indulgent lies

beyond what we learn, down to what we know.

Born from the fabric of life

we sever the ties

and try to stand

control the waves and harness the wind

the world is our illusion

never to dance and flow with the tide

the sand is glass and the coal is fuel

the trees but meaningless paper.

We are but a piece that refuses the whole.

We are the sand, the coal, the tree, and the wind

Moving to a dance unknown to us

with all that lives.

There is only this moment and no other

Time to cry

It isn't long before clouds are blown away

by word of mouth the truth is battered into shape.

And as the sun shines down we finally set the blame

and the simple truth is hidden far away with shame.

Never hold the breeze and never stop the rain

Never love for reasons or find solace in the pain

Never win the battle just because you can

and never hold on high that with caused the stain

I haven't felt the warm wind of compassion for some time

or heard the ocean sing it's never ending rhyme

I haven't stepped into the blessing given me

left to what is expected not what should be.

Never test the Angels to see if they can fly

Never bow to follow anything that dies

Never love the shadows no matter how they try

and never let the people tell you there is no time to cry.

Balance

I sit and watch the flames dance

 as the cool wind touches my face.
I see, I know, I feel the holiest of feeling.
I die, to live, to be alive in this moment

I sit and listen the birds sing
 as the cat stalks it's happy prey
I fear, I crave, I hide from this moment.
I reach, to feel, death that feeds life.

I close my eyes and see the darkness
 as the silence deafens me.
I drift, I fall, I pine away in this moment.
I hate, to love, that which feeds me.

I sit and die away
 as I live forever
I Learn, I forget, I come full circle.
I live, to live, to love.