The Other Side

Looking up I see
 so much ahead of me
Spiraling though the dark
 Taking me back to start

One step
forward I
focus on the sky
one step
before I
am taken by this

I came here to
see the darker you
meet the Shadow I
bury deep inside

One step
Forward I
close to my desire
one step
before I
consumed by this

Out the other side
I have nothing left to hide
so different than before
understanding anima

Gone

Written thoughts,
 Pieces of the heart
scraps of a moment
penned in emotion

never ending search
for that which is lost
never to be found
because it was never mine

ever seeking truth
discovering all the lies
who is to guide true
without judgmental eyes

One line remains unwritten
one verse never song
This side of  heaven I keep searching
for where it is I've gone.

Freedom Inside

Drifting ever so softly through the night

Across the sky I fly earthbound but free

What has past is no longer binding

what is to be no longer concerns me

No physical boundaries around me

I write my words in the night sky

I sing with the spirits and dance with the sun.

seeing with the unseen eye.

Truth has no meaning in a place with no lies

and we dance with the vibrations of night

Vivid  with the color of hearts and Gold

Filling up this terrestrial life.

Fibonacci counts as we push ever forward

and we dance on this spiral divine

Going to places we’ve never been

All without opening our eyes.

Washed Over

*This is something that came to me after I woke. I know it doesn't realy eqaul a poem but it was in my head.


Spiral further down the vibrant colors seem to light my path
I step softly as I see this world changes below my feet
And I stand here bathed in this beauty that encompasses all
I’m not sure I can take all this in to my soul.


Guided by this glowing force I see this world for what it is
I understand now that we are only a temporary thing.
I can see that the blood is wine and the bread is flesh
I can see that we are to consumed by something greater
No room for ego or self
No time for each
All are one and one is everything.



As I slip away, desperately grasping for a hold
I hear the voice of beauty telling me how to continue
No one understands that life is nothing more or less than that
We are bathed in all there is
We are the music of the universe
The heavens and earth
We need but only dance


J.

Tonight

Tonight, the moon and stars comfort me and I listen to the peace in the air.

Tonight I relax as my family sleep quietly in the comfy beds.

Tonight I reflect on what has happened today and how slow and relaxed it was.

Tonight I plan my day tomorrow as I slip into my slumber.

Tonight, I forgot to hold my family tight

Because,

Tonight someone has stood up for what they believed in and lost

Tonight, someone has marched against oppression and lost.

Tonight, they bleed in the streets, cry for their fallen and plan for tomorrow.

Tonight they are not worried about facebook, google, or the net.

Tonight they wonder who will be alive tomorrow.

Tonight is all they have.


J.

Breaking the Silence

One, beautiful thought that’s

Encompassing all with

Growing desire to

Fill in the void for the answer of all



Stare, blankly at nothing

Hoping for change and

Wanting to fill the

Emptiness left in my eyes



Give, all that I know

Putting it out there

Hoping for love

Wishing you’d understand why I am me



Slip, back into silence

Desperately hoping that

What I have done would

Stimulate that which drives you along.

Frustrated

I truly fear for a world so glued to an electronic box for entertainment. We even try to constantly improve this box full of filtered and bias opinions, fake reality, and fantasies that help us grow further away from true love, true adventure, and everything outside the walls that “protect” us. We sit, locked in our private caves. Bitching about the loss of our freedoms and yet we very seldom exercise those exact freedoms we fight for.

It is constantly teaching us to except ourselves for what we are and tune in later to learn how to better ourselves. But let’s face it; it is just a slow poison chipping away at our health and souls. We should be out bettering ourselves and not using up the “I’m tired” or “it’s been a long day” excuses. You can sit around and wait for things to get better and they never will. They don’t, not if you’re sitting around, you just unknowingly lower your standard, your level of tolerance and acceptable pains.

We also have become a community of blamers. It is always someone else’s fault that things in your life have turned out bad. This friends is a load of crap. You are standing right where you put yourself. I don’t care what some guy or girl did to you. How you accepted it and moved on is and was your decision. But when it turns out to be a bad decision we blame the person that gave us the reason for the decision and not the decision maker. Accept it was bad and move on.

All of this rant comes from and attempted discussion the other night about something on the news. As I tried to discuss it, I was told to shut up because it was horrible what happened and we didn’t need to talk about it. I sat, shocked, we don’t need to talk about it? I think the stick your head in the sand approach is appalling. If you cannot discuss such things and do not speak about the bad things then what are we to expect when we become face to face with it? How do we protect ourselves from it? Hiding from the things that scare us does nothing but make us more frightened and powerless.

I sometimes feel I am the only one seeing all of this. Can I change it? I don’t know? Can I try? You’re damn right I can

My Freedom

I trust those who offer me sight and yet they blind me so

Down their path I go, searching for my life in their shadow.

Sacrificing each step to the illusion of forward movement

but only standing in the stagnant Dogma of good intent.

Bleeding out freedom, embalmed with hope and wishes.

Tied to a fear of Death itself and the hollowness it leaves.

I don't wish to travel this path but they offer safety.

Safety from the evils they themselves have created.

I strip away the myth, the lies, and the fantasy

I strip away the hope, the wishes and safety.

I stand, Naked, exposed, fearless and focused.

I stand at the start of my path, my choice, my freedom.

Between the Thoughts

Feeling the open in me

Feeling the shadows move

wanting the inside out

I tear open the wounds

dancing to the rhythm of

that which always moves

I'm dancing with the power

and deepening the wounds

I lose myself between the thoughts

of what is and is not there

I slide across the words of others

as feel how much they care

In this place I see tomorrow

and feel the warmth of it all

I know what is unknown

and hear the mothers call

I take in all that is mine to take

and leave the rest for other days

I bring out comforts that I need

and slip quietly away,

Deep inside

Deep inside spiraling down

past the Ego and self indulgent lies

beyond what we learn, down to what we know.

Born from the fabric of life

we sever the ties

and try to stand

control the waves and harness the wind

the world is our illusion

never to dance and flow with the tide

the sand is glass and the coal is fuel

the trees but meaningless paper.

We are but a piece that refuses the whole.

We are the sand, the coal, the tree, and the wind

Moving to a dance unknown to us

with all that lives.

There is only this moment and no other

Time to cry

It isn't long before clouds are blown away

by word of mouth the truth is battered into shape.

And as the sun shines down we finally set the blame

and the simple truth is hidden far away with shame.

Never hold the breeze and never stop the rain

Never love for reasons or find solace in the pain

Never win the battle just because you can

and never hold on high that with caused the stain

I haven't felt the warm wind of compassion for some time

or heard the ocean sing it's never ending rhyme

I haven't stepped into the blessing given me

left to what is expected not what should be.

Never test the Angels to see if they can fly

Never bow to follow anything that dies

Never love the shadows no matter how they try

and never let the people tell you there is no time to cry.

Balance

I sit and watch the flames dance

 as the cool wind touches my face.
I see, I know, I feel the holiest of feeling.
I die, to live, to be alive in this moment

I sit and listen the birds sing
 as the cat stalks it's happy prey
I fear, I crave, I hide from this moment.
I reach, to feel, death that feeds life.

I close my eyes and see the darkness
 as the silence deafens me.
I drift, I fall, I pine away in this moment.
I hate, to love, that which feeds me.

I sit and die away
 as I live forever
I Learn, I forget, I come full circle.
I live, to live, to love.

Unconditional

Unconditional

The Sun came up today in it's vain attempt to burn away the shadows.

I feel it’s warmth on my face, slowly chipping away at the cold inside.

Scars from the past too deep to heal serve as a reminder of the hard times we pass through.

Souvenirs for a place we didn’t want to go.

One smile, small, honest, and true, shines innocence on the guilty.

Offering unconditional forgiveness and love.

Making the sun’s light seem cool and the scars so hard to see.

Tucked away.

There are no words to describe what I see.
 beauty and elegance only just scratch the surface.
Deep inside the words hide from me,
 I can only stare into your eyes and hope you can see it in mine.

Tomorrow is not something we can safely plan for,
 truth is there are no promises for such things.
I will promise that until my dieing breath
 until I am returned to that which I came from.
I shall never stop feeling this way.

As a rose grows towords the warmth and light of the sun,
 I too shall always seek the warm embrace of your heart.
The comfort of your arms and the peace in your soul.
 And when my time does come and I leave this place.
 I will find my home, safely tucked away in your heart.

Roots in the dieing world

A simple chapter in a world gone mad.
live, love, and die
Angels watch as the fires burn away the underbrush
leaving behind the smoldering remains of what once was.
No great phoenix shall rise today.
No man shall step forward for fear of the untamed fires.
This is the truth, this is the vision of a conscience left to die.
The screams of agony makes us wonder if we have reached the gates of hell.
are the hounds on our heels and yet our own vanity keep us from seeing.
How did we get to this, what has burnt this world so that nothing remains?
Not greed, hate, nor vanity. Not any skewed trait we possess.
But more so from the lack of traits long forgotten.
We forgot the heart, love and compassion. Neglected the child and followed the beast.
It's vain promises of protecting and caring for family and the children.
Yes the children that is where we lost it.
Relying on the beast to nurture and educate but only leaving them dependant.
So here we stand, burnt, scorned, and left to die.
And yet as our vanity destroyed us so shall the evil die out.
Reveling in it's own power and laughing at the weak shell it has left us in.
In it's great celebration it fails to hear.
The one faint heartbeat that beats pure and true.
As it looks out across the embers it sees not death and detruction.
No, it sees warmth and a chance for a new growth.
Never wondering, never guessing. Only being what it knows to be.
The one faint heartbeat grows and love finds root in the dieing world.

J.

Pieces

I feel the pull of the memory, Drawing me in, feeding me, teasing me.

leaving me to sort the feelings as they fall on the floor in no certain order.

piecing together the moment on a clock so long ago.

The beauty of a soul that most would over look. Most would prejudge and scorn.

Pushing this person to a point in which I lost her.

The smile, the touch, the sweet voice of an angel displaced.

Sing me a song I say, the words softly fall from her lips like petals of a rose landing so gently on my heart.

"There is magic all around you if I do say so myself" Simple lyrics that spoke the truth in her heart. I tried to join in the song but she stopped me. This was her moment. This was her heart that she was giving me. Wanting nothing in return other than to let me know what was in this misguided angels soul.

And the moment passed and here I am with the scattered memories, knowing she is gone. A victim of bad decisions and a poorly dealt hand in life. But I place the pieces back together and see now what I over looked so long ago.

Two souls can connect, intertwine, and form a friendship that without words, without actions, without touch. Will bind to the heart and leave an everlasting impression.

vaya con dios

What I am

I can write about love and hope, fear and death.
I can wite about the past or what is to come.
I can see and understand the collective energies.
I can seperate the lies and fable from the truth.
 these are thing I can accomplish without effort.

I can feel the despair in the abandoned.
I can share the sadness of a strangers loss.
I am the bringer of hope and second chances.
I am the healer of hearts and scars.
 these are things I can accomplish without effort.

I can teach the seeker of knowledge.
I can guide the lost to the path of living.
I can soothe the anger and replace it with love.
I can love without fear.
 and yet on this side of heaven I stand hollow and alone.



~Jason  03/12

Feb. 20th

 Foolish writings of a simple mind. That is all these are. I have had a couple of people ask about my writings and at first I could not understand why. I do not feel I possess any talent to speak of. What could I offer that anyone would find interesting. So I put my feeble mind to the task of trying to figure out what it was. Why would anyone find interest in my random writings. I have a friend that writes stories about things that happen and his talent is amazing. He can really make words work for him. Showing us the emotion, humor, and spirit of his stories. Mine, mine are like scribbles on a bar napkin including the wet ring from the drink. I have a couple of poems around here written on that very thing.
 The only thing I can think of is the fact that it is my soul. I usually write when I am extremely tired. Which studies show that writing when tired or under the influence are some of the best times to really let out what you feel. You are less worried about what people will think ans so you can be slightly more creative.
 So here it is. My Soul. Naked, exposed, and being what it is. I am not looking for approval or acceptance. I am not hoping you like what you see. I am only putting it out there and saying here it is. Love it, hate, or just want to be friends with it. I don't care. I try to stay outside the proverbial box as much as possible. That box can also be called the Ego from time to time. But if you read some of these writings, I want you to leave knowing your not alone. Some of the stupid things done in life are done by all of us in one way, shape. form, or fashion. We all have the same feelings and I think that even if you leave here thinking this is stupid and a waste of your time, you will still know, down in side that we all have these strange thoughts from time to time. And while we my not grant them the time to entertain them ourselves. It is nice to know we are not alone.

 Remember: A balanced life is not about getting things the way you want them. It's about excepting things the way they are.

Holy Crap!!

I mean Really, It's February already!? This is going to be another fast year. Brace yourselves and hold on. I say, Let's not make it an easy one. Nothing good ever came from taking things easy. Push the boundaries people have set for you. Break the mold of what people think of you. Step out of the box they put you in? Are these the thoughts that come to mind? Good thoughts but they need a little fixing.
 Try this:
 Push the boundaries you have allowed others to set for you.
Break the mold you created to please others.
Step out side of the box you put yourself in.
 Once you admit that YOU are the reason you are where you are you will begin to move forward, break out and Live. Everyone is in some kind of issue/ drama/ Problem. until we realize that WE control and make the changes we will never be able to live. Let go of what binds you. Step through your own shadow. Be the person you deserve to be.
 ~J.

Christmas Request

 After reading a post by a good friend and an beautiful soul the other day I decided I have a request for each and every one of you, my friends. Being one of the people She referred to with and "empty Seat" at my table I started thinking about what it is that is most important to give someone as a gift. What stands out in memory as the best gift. I was asked what was my favorite gift I have ever received on Christmas and I had no answer. That is what got me thinking about this. What was the answer? Had I never received  something I truly wanted for Christmas? OMG do my parents owe me big time?! Why could I not pick something. Then it occurred to me that I was looking for something monetary. Something physical, solid, that I could hold and show. The truth is, have received something that is the best gift ever. That I would not trade, give back, or sell. Something I had shared time and time again and gave as a gift to others never really thinking it was that much of a gift.
 So this Christmas I ask you, all my friends to find someone, at least one person a day and give them a hug. I don't mean a quick grab and release. Wrap your arms around them, hold them for a few seconds.  Tell them something - Merry Christmas, I love, you smell good, I'm stealing your cookies..... I don't care what you say. Because the message is not in the words but in the few seconds you took out of your life to wrap your arms around them and hold on. Give them a hug that sinks in and hold on to their heart and soul.
Remember - You may never get the chance to do this again.

I hope This Christmas brings you Peace and Happiness.
Merry Christmas.