Step out

As I watch the darkness slowly burn away.

Into the fire I step to claim another day.

Even though the thorns of roses break my skin

The blood and pain supports the beauty from within

I seek to know just why true love is so strong

but crumbles under doubt when everything goes wrong.

I cannot see the future I only know the past,

but from it I will build the monuments that last.

hold you way up high to feel the warmth and light.

know that when you can't see I will be your sight.

So walk on through this darkness until it burns away.

Then step out in to the beauty of another day.

~J

Return

We stand in our pride and self proclaimed integrity

a world built by us to suit us.

Never questioning where we came from or where we are going.

Fighting to be separate from the whole

but needing the whole to approve and praise

answering questions with speculations and fabricated truths

dividing, splitting, and battling

which way do you fall after the schism

pushing belief so hard on others

hoping we too will believe one day

in the end we return from where we came

back to the very thing we tried to split from

What do we pass on

 What are we passing on? Have you thought about it? What have you passed on to your children, your family, and friends? Have you passed your impulsive desire for new technology to your children? Have you taught them how to complain or maybe just teach them to live in their world and try to ignore the crazy stuff that goes on around them? Maybe drugs, have you taught them how a busy day or week deserves some drugs or a few drinks to relax? Looking forward to lunch and dinner as a break? Eating for relaxation or reward?

 Teaching them how to be racist, sexist, or judgmental is a popular thing as well. Pointing out short comings of others to make us feel better is something everyone needs to learn. Be sure to teach them how to complain about something but do nothing to change it because it is not your fault or problem.

 These seem to be popular things that people are learning and doing today but the real fear is what will it evolve to? Blaming others and doing nothing has already started evolving right before our eyes. We have given up so many freedoms to our government in hopes that they will take care of us, something we should have been doing all along. But that is another story/ argument in itself.

 I started thinking about my kids this morning and wondering, if there was just one thing I could get across to them what would it be? If I teach them nothing but this one thing what would it be? To love unconditionally, to live each day as it was their last, to look both ways before crossing the street, Or don’t step on legos. I cannot find an answer. Not really, because there is so much they need to know. So many things not taught in schools. Let’s face it, Schools basically teach crap. Half the stuff we are sticking in their brains does will not help them in life and yet we keep shoveling it in. Let’s teach them how to learn, to communicate, so think. Yes THINK we are not teaching them to think anymore.

 Sorry I seem to have gotten off track again, the one thing…. What would it be?
I think it would be to just live. Nothing lasts forever, not love, money, looks, cars, pets, or anything. Nothing lasts forever. So just live, enjoy them, immerse yourself in the moment and feel the emotions, then move on; live like the waves of the ocean. If someone or something strikes a blow at you, just move, then fill in the spaces, but never, never stop pushing forward.



J.

Release

My Soul is torn between good and evil

Which is which I cannot say

I fight the demons and fight the angels

the battle grows larger each day

A crowded soul

A lonely heat

A painful life

Being torn apart

Release me.



(Written 1994)
Jason Sandlin

The Other Side

Looking up I see
 so much ahead of me
Spiraling though the dark
 Taking me back to start

One step
forward I
focus on the sky
one step
before I
am taken by this

I came here to
see the darker you
meet the Shadow I
bury deep inside

One step
Forward I
close to my desire
one step
before I
consumed by this

Out the other side
I have nothing left to hide
so different than before
understanding anima

Gone

Written thoughts,
 Pieces of the heart
scraps of a moment
penned in emotion

never ending search
for that which is lost
never to be found
because it was never mine

ever seeking truth
discovering all the lies
who is to guide true
without judgmental eyes

One line remains unwritten
one verse never song
This side of  heaven I keep searching
for where it is I've gone.

Freedom Inside

Drifting ever so softly through the night

Across the sky I fly earthbound but free

What has past is no longer binding

what is to be no longer concerns me

No physical boundaries around me

I write my words in the night sky

I sing with the spirits and dance with the sun.

seeing with the unseen eye.

Truth has no meaning in a place with no lies

and we dance with the vibrations of night

Vivid  with the color of hearts and Gold

Filling up this terrestrial life.

Fibonacci counts as we push ever forward

and we dance on this spiral divine

Going to places we’ve never been

All without opening our eyes.

Washed Over

*This is something that came to me after I woke. I know it doesn't realy eqaul a poem but it was in my head.


Spiral further down the vibrant colors seem to light my path
I step softly as I see this world changes below my feet
And I stand here bathed in this beauty that encompasses all
I’m not sure I can take all this in to my soul.


Guided by this glowing force I see this world for what it is
I understand now that we are only a temporary thing.
I can see that the blood is wine and the bread is flesh
I can see that we are to consumed by something greater
No room for ego or self
No time for each
All are one and one is everything.



As I slip away, desperately grasping for a hold
I hear the voice of beauty telling me how to continue
No one understands that life is nothing more or less than that
We are bathed in all there is
We are the music of the universe
The heavens and earth
We need but only dance


J.

Tonight

Tonight, the moon and stars comfort me and I listen to the peace in the air.

Tonight I relax as my family sleep quietly in the comfy beds.

Tonight I reflect on what has happened today and how slow and relaxed it was.

Tonight I plan my day tomorrow as I slip into my slumber.

Tonight, I forgot to hold my family tight

Because,

Tonight someone has stood up for what they believed in and lost

Tonight, someone has marched against oppression and lost.

Tonight, they bleed in the streets, cry for their fallen and plan for tomorrow.

Tonight they are not worried about facebook, google, or the net.

Tonight they wonder who will be alive tomorrow.

Tonight is all they have.


J.

Breaking the Silence

One, beautiful thought that’s

Encompassing all with

Growing desire to

Fill in the void for the answer of all



Stare, blankly at nothing

Hoping for change and

Wanting to fill the

Emptiness left in my eyes



Give, all that I know

Putting it out there

Hoping for love

Wishing you’d understand why I am me



Slip, back into silence

Desperately hoping that

What I have done would

Stimulate that which drives you along.

Frustrated

I truly fear for a world so glued to an electronic box for entertainment. We even try to constantly improve this box full of filtered and bias opinions, fake reality, and fantasies that help us grow further away from true love, true adventure, and everything outside the walls that “protect” us. We sit, locked in our private caves. Bitching about the loss of our freedoms and yet we very seldom exercise those exact freedoms we fight for.

It is constantly teaching us to except ourselves for what we are and tune in later to learn how to better ourselves. But let’s face it; it is just a slow poison chipping away at our health and souls. We should be out bettering ourselves and not using up the “I’m tired” or “it’s been a long day” excuses. You can sit around and wait for things to get better and they never will. They don’t, not if you’re sitting around, you just unknowingly lower your standard, your level of tolerance and acceptable pains.

We also have become a community of blamers. It is always someone else’s fault that things in your life have turned out bad. This friends is a load of crap. You are standing right where you put yourself. I don’t care what some guy or girl did to you. How you accepted it and moved on is and was your decision. But when it turns out to be a bad decision we blame the person that gave us the reason for the decision and not the decision maker. Accept it was bad and move on.

All of this rant comes from and attempted discussion the other night about something on the news. As I tried to discuss it, I was told to shut up because it was horrible what happened and we didn’t need to talk about it. I sat, shocked, we don’t need to talk about it? I think the stick your head in the sand approach is appalling. If you cannot discuss such things and do not speak about the bad things then what are we to expect when we become face to face with it? How do we protect ourselves from it? Hiding from the things that scare us does nothing but make us more frightened and powerless.

I sometimes feel I am the only one seeing all of this. Can I change it? I don’t know? Can I try? You’re damn right I can

My Freedom

I trust those who offer me sight and yet they blind me so

Down their path I go, searching for my life in their shadow.

Sacrificing each step to the illusion of forward movement

but only standing in the stagnant Dogma of good intent.

Bleeding out freedom, embalmed with hope and wishes.

Tied to a fear of Death itself and the hollowness it leaves.

I don't wish to travel this path but they offer safety.

Safety from the evils they themselves have created.

I strip away the myth, the lies, and the fantasy

I strip away the hope, the wishes and safety.

I stand, Naked, exposed, fearless and focused.

I stand at the start of my path, my choice, my freedom.

Between the Thoughts

Feeling the open in me

Feeling the shadows move

wanting the inside out

I tear open the wounds

dancing to the rhythm of

that which always moves

I'm dancing with the power

and deepening the wounds

I lose myself between the thoughts

of what is and is not there

I slide across the words of others

as feel how much they care

In this place I see tomorrow

and feel the warmth of it all

I know what is unknown

and hear the mothers call

I take in all that is mine to take

and leave the rest for other days

I bring out comforts that I need

and slip quietly away,

Deep inside

Deep inside spiraling down

past the Ego and self indulgent lies

beyond what we learn, down to what we know.

Born from the fabric of life

we sever the ties

and try to stand

control the waves and harness the wind

the world is our illusion

never to dance and flow with the tide

the sand is glass and the coal is fuel

the trees but meaningless paper.

We are but a piece that refuses the whole.

We are the sand, the coal, the tree, and the wind

Moving to a dance unknown to us

with all that lives.

There is only this moment and no other

Time to cry

It isn't long before clouds are blown away

by word of mouth the truth is battered into shape.

And as the sun shines down we finally set the blame

and the simple truth is hidden far away with shame.

Never hold the breeze and never stop the rain

Never love for reasons or find solace in the pain

Never win the battle just because you can

and never hold on high that with caused the stain

I haven't felt the warm wind of compassion for some time

or heard the ocean sing it's never ending rhyme

I haven't stepped into the blessing given me

left to what is expected not what should be.

Never test the Angels to see if they can fly

Never bow to follow anything that dies

Never love the shadows no matter how they try

and never let the people tell you there is no time to cry.

Balance

I sit and watch the flames dance

 as the cool wind touches my face.
I see, I know, I feel the holiest of feeling.
I die, to live, to be alive in this moment

I sit and listen the birds sing
 as the cat stalks it's happy prey
I fear, I crave, I hide from this moment.
I reach, to feel, death that feeds life.

I close my eyes and see the darkness
 as the silence deafens me.
I drift, I fall, I pine away in this moment.
I hate, to love, that which feeds me.

I sit and die away
 as I live forever
I Learn, I forget, I come full circle.
I live, to live, to love.

Unconditional

Unconditional

The Sun came up today in it's vain attempt to burn away the shadows.

I feel it’s warmth on my face, slowly chipping away at the cold inside.

Scars from the past too deep to heal serve as a reminder of the hard times we pass through.

Souvenirs for a place we didn’t want to go.

One smile, small, honest, and true, shines innocence on the guilty.

Offering unconditional forgiveness and love.

Making the sun’s light seem cool and the scars so hard to see.

Tucked away.

There are no words to describe what I see.
 beauty and elegance only just scratch the surface.
Deep inside the words hide from me,
 I can only stare into your eyes and hope you can see it in mine.

Tomorrow is not something we can safely plan for,
 truth is there are no promises for such things.
I will promise that until my dieing breath
 until I am returned to that which I came from.
I shall never stop feeling this way.

As a rose grows towords the warmth and light of the sun,
 I too shall always seek the warm embrace of your heart.
The comfort of your arms and the peace in your soul.
 And when my time does come and I leave this place.
 I will find my home, safely tucked away in your heart.

Roots in the dieing world

A simple chapter in a world gone mad.
live, love, and die
Angels watch as the fires burn away the underbrush
leaving behind the smoldering remains of what once was.
No great phoenix shall rise today.
No man shall step forward for fear of the untamed fires.
This is the truth, this is the vision of a conscience left to die.
The screams of agony makes us wonder if we have reached the gates of hell.
are the hounds on our heels and yet our own vanity keep us from seeing.
How did we get to this, what has burnt this world so that nothing remains?
Not greed, hate, nor vanity. Not any skewed trait we possess.
But more so from the lack of traits long forgotten.
We forgot the heart, love and compassion. Neglected the child and followed the beast.
It's vain promises of protecting and caring for family and the children.
Yes the children that is where we lost it.
Relying on the beast to nurture and educate but only leaving them dependant.
So here we stand, burnt, scorned, and left to die.
And yet as our vanity destroyed us so shall the evil die out.
Reveling in it's own power and laughing at the weak shell it has left us in.
In it's great celebration it fails to hear.
The one faint heartbeat that beats pure and true.
As it looks out across the embers it sees not death and detruction.
No, it sees warmth and a chance for a new growth.
Never wondering, never guessing. Only being what it knows to be.
The one faint heartbeat grows and love finds root in the dieing world.

J.

Pieces

I feel the pull of the memory, Drawing me in, feeding me, teasing me.

leaving me to sort the feelings as they fall on the floor in no certain order.

piecing together the moment on a clock so long ago.

The beauty of a soul that most would over look. Most would prejudge and scorn.

Pushing this person to a point in which I lost her.

The smile, the touch, the sweet voice of an angel displaced.

Sing me a song I say, the words softly fall from her lips like petals of a rose landing so gently on my heart.

"There is magic all around you if I do say so myself" Simple lyrics that spoke the truth in her heart. I tried to join in the song but she stopped me. This was her moment. This was her heart that she was giving me. Wanting nothing in return other than to let me know what was in this misguided angels soul.

And the moment passed and here I am with the scattered memories, knowing she is gone. A victim of bad decisions and a poorly dealt hand in life. But I place the pieces back together and see now what I over looked so long ago.

Two souls can connect, intertwine, and form a friendship that without words, without actions, without touch. Will bind to the heart and leave an everlasting impression.

vaya con dios