Recent events

 Funny how we get comfortable and set in our ways so much so that when something screws it all up we spiral with out direction. This spiraling is probably one of the scariest things a person can feel. No direction, no game plan, the team is busted up. You just stand there thinking what the hell just happened. We go through the "why me" questions over and over in our head. We try to figure out how this could happen and where we went wrong. The light at the end of the tunnel in no longer there.

 This is what I have gone through lately. I have not really told anyone because I thought I may be the only one but as I think more about it, I don't think that is true. I think a lot of us go through this feeling from time to time. Depression is a bitch and can suck the life our of you for sure. It is nothing to try and handle alone. So sometimes we have to step back and look at it from a completely new angle. Do you believe in fate, a predetermined destiny? Do you believe you have to live with what life has dealt you? Why?

 Sitting back waiting on God to help you out of it? Well I hope you answered no to all those questions. There is no fate. things change from moment to moment flowing and following what ever path life needs to take. Whatever discisions we make effect every part of it. God is going to bail you out? Nope he doesn't do that kind of thing. Don't believe me then try this. Stop eating and see if God will keep you from starving to death. It won't happen. He he does not give us hard times so we may learn from suffereing. He gives us challenges so we may better ourselves and prosper.

 We need to meet each day head on and see what happenes. If it beats us down then we rest and meet the next one the same way. Preserverence..... it can move mountains or mole hills. It can change the world and inspire others. I have watched people I looked up to get beatdown and come back stronger. Some of which are beat down at this very moment but I know they will come back stronger than ever. With a renewed love and drive for life. I look forward to this day. Me, I am good myself. Yea it beat me up for a few months but it not going to win. If troubles in life think they can take me out then they have not met my friends. When I stumble, I do not fall, I simple reach for a friend and they offer support. It is an amazing feeling when you start thinking about all the friends you have at your disposal. Just knowing they are there can give you enough strength to push on. So push on I will. Stand proud, I will. Live each day to the fullest, you bet. When you think you are alone and the only one feeling the way you do.... Think again. We have all been there and back. Friends can help, just let them.

 Life is not always about what we make for ourselves but what we make for others.

Jason

Captivate Post

Just thought I would give posting from my phone. Modern electronics make staying connected almost too easy. Sometimes finding a moment to ones self can be the hard part.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Old Writings

While digging around some old paper work the other day I came across some old writings and poems. i personally think most of them are simplistic and not worth reading but I have held onto them for one reason or another. I may consider posting some of the poems here but I am not sure yet.
 I did find the following writing quite interesting as I do not remember ever writing it. Although I did most of my writing while either depressed or feeling extremely happy and hopeful. I had dabbled a little in writing right after high school and it really became a place to put thoughts after my brother died. Some of the stuff is kind of scarey and will probably never see the light of day but who knows. Maybe I'll post some of it here so everyone can get a look at my extremely poor writing skills.   :)
 Again, I have no idea when I wrote the following note, but i did find it interesting.

Broken

Tonight the darkness seems darker if that is possible. Stumbling around in this darkness searching for a shred of light. How did I end up in such a place? Living has become such a chore, such a burden that I sometimes wonder why do I push forward. Why bother. I have asked for help, for a shred of light but I cannot see even the slightest glimpse to aid me in where to place my feet. And so I continue to stumble. Why, why, why, It wasn't always like this, I used to be happy. How did I lose that that I loved the most? Where can I find the pieces to reassemble and regain my life. Still no shred of light.

Have you ever heard the voice of God? Have you ever really listened? I thought I was listening then in the darkest of the dark. In the deepest of pain I heard the words. You cannot hear the true answer if your waiting for what you think the answer is. The voice was the loudest silence I have ever heard. You cannot hear the word of God with your ears. But you heart can her if like it was yelling at you. I asked, why? Why have you left me here stumbling in the dark, searching desperately for a shred of light to guide my steps? Why let me suffer.

" I am the light, I am the one that guides your path. You do not need light to see where to step. If you believe in Me then every step you take will be the right one. You are in the darkness because that is where the people are that need help finding the light. I am with you."

Sometimes that which we want most if right there in front of us but we cannot see it because we are looking for what we want not what we need.

JS