Recent events

 Funny how we get comfortable and set in our ways so much so that when something screws it all up we spiral with out direction. This spiraling is probably one of the scariest things a person can feel. No direction, no game plan, the team is busted up. You just stand there thinking what the hell just happened. We go through the "why me" questions over and over in our head. We try to figure out how this could happen and where we went wrong. The light at the end of the tunnel in no longer there.

 This is what I have gone through lately. I have not really told anyone because I thought I may be the only one but as I think more about it, I don't think that is true. I think a lot of us go through this feeling from time to time. Depression is a bitch and can suck the life our of you for sure. It is nothing to try and handle alone. So sometimes we have to step back and look at it from a completely new angle. Do you believe in fate, a predetermined destiny? Do you believe you have to live with what life has dealt you? Why?

 Sitting back waiting on God to help you out of it? Well I hope you answered no to all those questions. There is no fate. things change from moment to moment flowing and following what ever path life needs to take. Whatever discisions we make effect every part of it. God is going to bail you out? Nope he doesn't do that kind of thing. Don't believe me then try this. Stop eating and see if God will keep you from starving to death. It won't happen. He he does not give us hard times so we may learn from suffereing. He gives us challenges so we may better ourselves and prosper.

 We need to meet each day head on and see what happenes. If it beats us down then we rest and meet the next one the same way. Preserverence..... it can move mountains or mole hills. It can change the world and inspire others. I have watched people I looked up to get beatdown and come back stronger. Some of which are beat down at this very moment but I know they will come back stronger than ever. With a renewed love and drive for life. I look forward to this day. Me, I am good myself. Yea it beat me up for a few months but it not going to win. If troubles in life think they can take me out then they have not met my friends. When I stumble, I do not fall, I simple reach for a friend and they offer support. It is an amazing feeling when you start thinking about all the friends you have at your disposal. Just knowing they are there can give you enough strength to push on. So push on I will. Stand proud, I will. Live each day to the fullest, you bet. When you think you are alone and the only one feeling the way you do.... Think again. We have all been there and back. Friends can help, just let them.

 Life is not always about what we make for ourselves but what we make for others.

Jason

Captivate Post

Just thought I would give posting from my phone. Modern electronics make staying connected almost too easy. Sometimes finding a moment to ones self can be the hard part.

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Old Writings

While digging around some old paper work the other day I came across some old writings and poems. i personally think most of them are simplistic and not worth reading but I have held onto them for one reason or another. I may consider posting some of the poems here but I am not sure yet.
 I did find the following writing quite interesting as I do not remember ever writing it. Although I did most of my writing while either depressed or feeling extremely happy and hopeful. I had dabbled a little in writing right after high school and it really became a place to put thoughts after my brother died. Some of the stuff is kind of scarey and will probably never see the light of day but who knows. Maybe I'll post some of it here so everyone can get a look at my extremely poor writing skills.   :)
 Again, I have no idea when I wrote the following note, but i did find it interesting.

Broken

Tonight the darkness seems darker if that is possible. Stumbling around in this darkness searching for a shred of light. How did I end up in such a place? Living has become such a chore, such a burden that I sometimes wonder why do I push forward. Why bother. I have asked for help, for a shred of light but I cannot see even the slightest glimpse to aid me in where to place my feet. And so I continue to stumble. Why, why, why, It wasn't always like this, I used to be happy. How did I lose that that I loved the most? Where can I find the pieces to reassemble and regain my life. Still no shred of light.

Have you ever heard the voice of God? Have you ever really listened? I thought I was listening then in the darkest of the dark. In the deepest of pain I heard the words. You cannot hear the true answer if your waiting for what you think the answer is. The voice was the loudest silence I have ever heard. You cannot hear the word of God with your ears. But you heart can her if like it was yelling at you. I asked, why? Why have you left me here stumbling in the dark, searching desperately for a shred of light to guide my steps? Why let me suffer.

" I am the light, I am the one that guides your path. You do not need light to see where to step. If you believe in Me then every step you take will be the right one. You are in the darkness because that is where the people are that need help finding the light. I am with you."

Sometimes that which we want most if right there in front of us but we cannot see it because we are looking for what we want not what we need.

JS

Train your brain!

 OK so I have a pet peeve, kinda. There is a saying that drive me crazy and I have finally decided to share it. Someone I know made this comment a couple weeks ago and it has been eating at me to right this.
I will say this loud and clear so everyone can hear this.

BAD THINGS DO NOT HAPPEN IN THREES.

 Did everyone hear that? Let it sink in, go ahead start thinking of your arguments and stories and I will shrug them off because to me this is the silliest thing.
 This concept really bothers me because I am what you would consider a positive thinker. I started my journey of positive thinking years ago when I realized that my brain believes what I feed it. If I keep saying things are bad, hard and suck. Then they will. The saying above it proof I am right. If something bad happens to you and you say "well bad things happen in three's" then you will consciously and subconsciously start looking for two more bad things and you will find them. When you do you will stop looking for bad things and not really see any more.
 Now imagine this concept in reverse. Something bad happens to you and you start thinking "Bad things always have an up side". You will tell your mind to focus on the positive, happy things in your life. This can help you really grow and advance in so many ways. You will be open to good news, opportunity, and happiness.
 Here is something to think about. We tend to think our brain is this mysterious thing and our thoughts can be controlled. This is just not true. You can control your thoughts. It may take some practice but it can be done.
 In studying Karate and the forms involved I have learned that muscle memory is a powerful thing. If I over think when doing my forms, I will mess up even the most basic of moves. If I clear my mind and let my body do what I have trained it to without thought, I will do the forms a lot better.
 Your brain is a muscle. Teach it to be open and receptive to good things. Teach it to be happy. After a while it will be second nature. You will be full of happiness and life. You will smile and react to smiles.

Need some help getting started. OK I will help. Free of charge. When someone asks how you are doing, say great, fantastic, wonderful, awesome, or any other word that reflects happy, positive thoughts. Do this every time you are asked how you are doing. Even on the days you feel like crap and hate the world. If you do this enough you will improve your attitude and outlook. You will train your mind to be happy. You will inspire others to be happier and have a better outlook.
 The world can be a miserable place if you keep looking for misery. But it can be an awesome place it you seek and inspire happiness.


 Peace.

The Day Paradise put up a Parking Lot

Thought of this lyric a couple of days ago. Simple words that ring true time and time again. Just think about all the places you used to hang out and what they are now. Of course some are still the parking lot we knew way back when, you just don't want to be there after dark now.
Some of my best teenage memories are at places that have drastically changed or are currently undergoing changes. Makes me wish I had taken more random pictures when I was younger.
 My first hangout memory would have to be Cinima City 8 Parking lot. When I was 15 - 16 years of age we spent many a night cruising around and around listening to music, meeting up and hanging out with friends and of course checking out oll the ladies. From there we rotated around to a few other parking lots including Centerpoint 6, Bama 6, Walmart, food worlds or just about anywhere people would find each other. Remeber we did not have cell phones to call and find each other. We just rode around untill we hooked up.
 Some of the more special hangouts were more out of the public eye where a few of us would meet and spend most of the evening enjoying drinks and having long conversations about everything under the sun. Some of the places had simple names that we called them but too this day recall great memories to all who knew them. Some places include "the circle" which was a road in my neighborhood that had no houses on it. "the Shack" which predates cruising times. "Ruffner" was a hangout you had to have a 4-wheel drive or buggy to get to. And one of my all time favs we called "the Mountain". We would love going there for as long as we could. This place was located off Edwards Lake road. Where the old landfill was.There was a road to the mountain from Stone Hedge but they blocked it off. On clear nights you could see the lights from Miller steam plant in west jefferson/Birmingport area. Beautiful view.
 Amazing how much some of these places have changed. So please, if you read this, share with me some of you hangouts around here or share a memory on one I listed if you want.. Post it as a comment on FB if you like.

There is a truth in knowing who you are that will outshine anything.

 I have nothing, well maybe that's not true. I have lots but after the last couple of weeks my focus is way off. Many changes at work have forced changes on personal life as well. BUT! I am practicing what I preach and rolling with it. It can be damn hard at times but I know things will get back into some type of groove again.
 So here I sit, late Saturday night pondering everything from how I will motivate myself to start back working out to how I can get my job done more efficiently. Strange how our thought process works. Seriously, can anyone think like we used to? I cannot walk though the house without someone having a TV on. This I am not a fan of. Not that I hate TV, just that I think we have trained ourselves to want noise and distraction. Does anyone spend a moment with their thoughts anymore? Are you teaching our kids too? They have a lot more distractions than we did growing up.
 I have also thought about dinner parties. We had one the other night with some friends, one of which I have not seen since hight school. It was really fun having us all together with families. I think I am going to do it again with some other friends as well. Love my friends.
hmmmm What else...... Oh Damn I just realized something. This is probably the reason I am in the mood I am in. Tonight is the anniversary of my brothers accident. 20 Years ago my brother was killed in a car accident.

I still remember waking up that morning with the police knocking on the door. Asking my Dad to come with them and having me drive my mother to the hospital. I remember  being told in the waiting room that my Brother was being kept alive by a machine. I also remember my Dad making the decision not to keep him sustain by the machine. I have never  to this day, ever respected or thought more highly of a person in my life. My father is probably the strongest person I know.
 The funeral precession was the longest I have seen to this day. I remember looking back and not being able to see the end of it. It was amazing to see all the people. I remember thinking wow he had a lot of friends. Now as I think about it I am even more proud to think of all the lives he touched. He was one of the most unique people I have ever met. One of the main things I learned from him is that being different is not accomplished by acting different. It is accomplished by just being yourself. There is a truth in knowing who you are that will outshine anything.
 I also remember sitting outside the funeral home and wishing for rain. I have always loved the rain and think about that moment every time it rain now. Seems to clear my thoughts and calms my life no matter how hard it is raining.
 I took up writing poetry after that. Silly cheesy poems that relayed what I was thinking. Many of them about Dain. Some about death, hope, love, and life. I would probably publish them if they weren't so simple and cheesy. I wish I had a talent for writing. Truth is, I have no idea what my talent is.
 I have no regrets. I do not live in the past and constantly morn the loss of my brother. I am happy to have the memories. I feel that I am one of the luckiest people alive. He had many friends and girlfriends but only one brother. He passed away 2 weeks after my 21st Birthday. I am happy to have had 21 great years of living loving and learning with him.

 I am not sure why I am writing all of this. Maybe to clear my head or help focus my thoughts. I hope no one finds this upsetting. It has helped me tonight. Sometimes I think we need to put things out there for people to see. No one really knows how you feel unless you tell them. So there it is, those were thoughts that were stuck in my head tonight. Funny, when I started this I really had nothing to say. Now I will end it by saying. Love the ones you have. Life changes so fast it will make you head spin. Take nothing for granted.

I love my Family and friends. God bless all of you.

Rant time!

 Thanks you to everyone that has told me they enjoy reading my posts. Now you may want to look away for the next one because I want to get something off my chest.
 As many of you know, I try to take care of myself. As with many Americans out there trying to stay healthy I have done research, including reading and experimenting with different foods to find the easiest and healthiest way to live. One thing I have found is that our food intake governs everything, EVERYTHING that happens to our body. This is not up for debate or discussion. This is fact.
 Now many of you may know that I am not a fan of medication or big pharmaceutical companies either. I'm not above taking needed medication but I am very careful as to what I take.
 I have mentioned all of this for a reason. I see where the government in now wanting food companies to reduce the sodium they put into food because sodium is linked to heart disease and health issues. Sounds good right? What this boils down to is the simple fact that now, someone will come up with an alternative to salt which, in about ten years we will find is linked to some other health disorder. It never ends.
 The problem is not salt, fat, carbs, caffeine, McDonalds, Fast food, chips, snack cakes or anything to do with the food industry. Are you ready for this.... The problem is..... YOU! Yes you. You know who I am talking to. Sitting you fat ass on the couch eating lowfat cookies and drinking a diet coke. YOU are the problem. You are the reason you are over weight, sick, tired, have acne, bad heart, restless leg syndrome (whatever the hell that is), high cholesterol, acid reflux, or what ever. The only thing you know about your health and anatomy if what you hear on the news or from the FDA. Please stop this insanity. Do some research yourself and stop holding everyone else responsible for what you do. That is the hard truth of it. If McDonalds is making you fat.... stop eating it. It is that simple. It can be difficult making the change to eating healthier and living better but it is worth it. You do not need a "diet" as so many places will sell you. You need knowledge, understanding, and the will to retrain your thought process. It takes time but in the end it's worth it. I used to be just like you eating crappy snacks, soda and candy. These are hollow, useless foods. But I retrained myself (my brain) to the point that now I crave fruits and healthier foods for snack and energy boosts.
 You can do this! If you need help ask someone who is doing it. If your standing around the snack machine at work killing a soda and little Debbie and talking with someone doing the same about health and work out tips, chances are your sources are biased and flawed. It's time we as Americans.... as Human beings started showing our God given intelligence and start making good decisions.

 

Random thought on Love.

Funny how we find ourselves in places we tell our friends to avoid. How we will blindly follow the heart because it feels something and not listen to the brain which we have spend years training to make the right decision. The heart is a greedy thing and at the same time it is completely defenseless. It can be so easily hurt and yet some people throw it out in desperation.
 Love cannot be hunted, it can only be found. It may fade, dwindle, rekindle, die and be reborn. It can rip a hole in your life so big that it can never be completely filled again. It can fill you up and leave you with happiness, courage, confidence, and pride. Love can be the reason behind some of the most wonderful things we do and the most horrible as well. It is uncontrollable and powerful. So powerful it makes us weak. It is timeless and limited, free and bound.
 It is a wonderful thing.

P90X Workout Phase 1 complete!

 Well, I am at the end of the first phase of the P90X workout and I must say that I am enjoying it now. The first week was really painful. It hurt when I would just touch my muscles much less use them. But I stayed in it and kept going. I am really doing a lot better with the exercises now. I am excided about starting the next phase of the exercise and cannot wait to see how it changes me.
 There is a group of us on Facebook that is going through this thing together so the added support really helps. Plus I have a friend at the office doing the same thing as well so we can compare thoughts.
 Hope everyone is doing well and getting rady for spring!

Working out again

  Yep, it true. I am back at it. I actually took a break over the last couple of months and decided to get back into it by giving the P90X workout a try. I completed my second workout this evening and must say that it has help to reinforce my belief that plyometrics are evil!! I never did like them but they are, in my option some of the most gratifying work out you can do. You may be sore but it will be worth it.
  I have done a few work outs in the past as well as some running. Lets face it they all  and I mean ALL boil down to the same thing. Eat better and get off your butt. No one gets fit sitting on the couch eating BonBons. Even the most basic moves like cleaning house or light yard work help. Dancing and laughing also have benefits! The hardest thing for most people is the diet part. I never look at it that way.
  Diets DON"T work. My definition of working is not losing 10 pounds in a couple weeks by cutting a certain portion of your diet out. Cutting cards = Bad, Cutting calories way down = Bad, trying to cut all fat out of your diet = Bad. The human body is a machine and like all machines it you run it unbalanced it will break. Also as all machines are designed to be used, so is the body. You have muscles and joints use them!
 The best thing to do it start slow. Start changing the diet slightly. Cutting back on some portions and opting for a little healthier food a little at a time. Before long you will actually look forward to an apple or banana for a snack. Do not expect to start feeling the difference the next day. 2 or 3 weeks and you will start noticing for sure. As you start losing weight and toning muscles some crazy things will happen. You will have more energy and desire to do more physical thinks. Your skin and hair will clear up some as well as your overall attitude will change. Progress is the best motivator!
 So start eating better and get off your but. It's that simple!

Good friends are worth their weight in gold!

 Friends, I hear that word a lot from my Daughter. How her friends are doing this and that. How they get mad at each other, laugh with each other, and interact with each other. Any time I here her talk about it I say a small prayer. "Dear God, please let my Daughter have the kind of friends I do." Some may see that as a silly comment but let me explain.

 I started meeting the friends that made a difference in my life about the same age my Daughter is now. Some have come and gone. Lots of weird, crazy, insane people have come in and out of my life. Through all this bonds were formed with different people. A few of my friends were surprises. Lee Molpus, I met him in a fight. We slugged it out on my front porch. The next year.... friends. There are other stories, some that probably should not be repeated but they all end the same. Friends.

 Now the reason I want my Daughter to have the same kind of friends is this. I am now 40 years old, steady approaching 41. The majority of the friends I have now are the same as it was in high school and shortly after. Of course we don't see each other as much because we all have our lives, families and responsibilities to take care of. But I promise you, the same friends I called on in the 80's I can still call on today and they can call on me. We would drop anything for each other. They are there anytime they are needed.

 We have not needed Facebook, MySpace, or twitter to keep up with each other. We didn't have cell phones or texting, we have conversations and shared moments. I have met a lot of new friends and hooked up with some old ones on these social networks but I never needed it for the life long friends I have had.

 Mom and Dad probably wondered about some of them, and even got on to some of them when we were doing wrong. We have lived together, worked together, partied together, and yes got into trouble together. But they NEVER bailed on me even when I think they should have. We have been through a lot together. When I lost my brother in a car crash my friends are what kept me going. Kept me living and pushing forward. I pulled away from everyone for a long time and yet there they were when I came around. Still there for me, still showing the love that cannot be broken.

 You see the pictures I have posted. They are from long ago and just recent and you notice the same people show up in them. I have never really separated friends and family. That is how close they are. I have the same love and respect for them as I would any family member.

 So now I hope my earlier comment makes more sense. Why I would love to have my daughter have friends like mine. You can't always be with your kids, but you try to teach them right and then you let them out into this big world. I can only hope her friends will watch her back like my friends did mine.

 I look forward to many more years with them. I don't know what we will get into. Maybe we will be racing around a retirement home in wheel chairs together or just sitting on a porch watching grand kids but we will be together. This much I do know.

Getting back to normal

  I guess everything is getting back to normal. Crazy, hectic, and fun. That is normal for us. I just got through posting on the Birmingham academy of martial arts Blog and updating Facebook and I am beat. Well I guess the 3 mile run before I started posting had something to do with that.
 We have belt test coming up at the end of the month and as usual, I am nervous. It's really weird, I know my forms really well, but seem to screw them up during a test. I really wonder how i will ever pass a black belt test but that is my short term goal so I keep pushing forward. I guess we all have things we can do really good then screw up when people are watching. I know it's a normal feeling everyone has but it really doesn't help make me feel any better when I am out there doing it!
 I see all the commercials gearing up for Valentines day. Trying to sell me crap I don't really need so i can prove I love my lady. Are people still falling for this? Shouldn't we be showing the ones we love how much we love them more that just once a year? I guess you ladies like receiving gifts but you have birthdays and Christmas as well as some of you have anniversaries and Mothers day. Do I really have to constantly buy you crap for you to know I love you? Don't get me wrong, I buy my lady gifts. I do it randomly throughout the year. A card here and there, some flowers, and maybe even a night out on the town. But I see love as something a heck of a lot deeper that the superficial things some people want. I think to many people place love and success on a material level. I feel sorry for them. Once you reach that point you to busy concentrating on the value of the item and never see the love that brought it.
 Well I guess thats enough babbling for me tonight. I hope we can plan another social gathering soon. It has been so great hooking up with old friends on Facebook and hanging out every now and then. It's been what? 3 - 4 months since the last one?
 Well hope everyone has a great week, Keep smiling and keep pushing forward!
Peace

Back to the real world

 Well all the fun of the Holidays and the short weeks are over. Now we are trying to get back to the routine of work again. I am looking forward to things getting back to normal. I am also ready to get back to Karate. The break has been nice but I have really missed it.
 We also have a chance of snow this Thursday so that should keep this week interesting enough. Snow in Alabama is a rare so it has a few people very excited.
 Lately I have been playing Borderlands on the PS3. The game is terribly addictive and has some very cool music associated with it. This is a song from one of it commercials.Groovy tune.
 Well Hope everyone has a great week.