Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Who I am

We have all set out on this quest before.
Taking notes and kicking in doors but today I sat and looked within to figure out just who I am.

I close my eyes and take a breath.
I am the emotions that drive me
Love and compassion that is who I am
But can this be if doubt and frustration are emotions too.
I can't be love without being hate.
I can't be the slain without being the slayer. This can't be all of me

So I Take a breath
I feel the earth beneath me and the wind caress me.
This is me and all there is.
The flesh the blood the trees and mud.
The earth it breathes as do I
It lives and grows and suffers
This is who I am!
But this cannot be so.
The earth, the wind, the blood and skin
Are all just part of the whole.

So I take a breath
Now I see the universe and it vast expanse
Feel the energy and vibrations.
This is me.
I can see it now, the stars and planets
The black holes and never ending matter.
But this cannot be who I am can it.
Lifeless and full of life. Never ending
The bigger I get the smaller I feel.

And so I take a breath
A breath. A single breath.
In it I feel the emotion,  the breeze
The universe and everything.
The vibration of it all shakes me in a single breath. This is me, I am that breath.
Not the one I just took or the next one to come.
I am this breath right now.

And so I take a breath.
I am the point between breathes.
In that moment I see nothing.
I feel nothing
No vibrations, no expectations
I am the silence, the still. I am everything in one point of existence. 
The vibrations have slowed to a stillness.
In the single breath I breathe life and death, love and hate. I breath the trees and earth, sky and stars.
In that one breath a big bang of existence. I breath it all in.

And so I take a breath
I am.

~J

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